Lost Charm of Balloons!

Riding the bike with extra focus,

Amidst crowded cars and bikes 

On the hustling and bustling Bangalore road;

We are all immersed in the madness of mundane runs;

Indeed, the same by-hearted humdrum route;

With known rising and falling speed of potholes and puddles,

With gifted canopies of lustrous trees,

With serenity of green and bright-coloured blossoms;

But, no time to cherish the beauty of seasons changing through the same trees;

Sometimes, jealousy engulfs just seeing nature's relentless job:

With no profit, no validation, or any recognition;

Yet, mind is preoccupied with meaningless and pointless worries, 

Of the lost and past,

And loses its sight of beauty and joy of presence;

At an intersection tightness of traffic light,

Amidst numerous red lights of fancy cars and bikes,

A scooter laden with balloons bigger than a car; 

As the lighter and fuller flowing balloons called for attention,  

Wave of honks and  noises increasingly tried to make him disappear:

A bunch of pink elephant balloons mock at the horns and honks;

Fuller blue and red balloons were soaring upward with no distraction;

The traffic light went green and the drama of balloons was lost;

Back into nonstop cars, buses, trucks and bikes,

With unknown artificial urgency,

Rushing to home for the peace and stillness…

Who am I!

Some address me as an epitome of arrogance;

Some criticise me as a loser;

My own mom called me a fiasco;

Many school and college mates just saw me as a misfit;

Some friends name me a simple and humble soul;

A friend keeps saying, “you are too poetic to live with”;

Another friend keeps saying, “you are too idealist to live in reality”;

Two men I fell in love with said and left, “you are too pure to meddle with”;

My relatives pity me as a misfortunate:

As I rejected many grooms,

Who offered financially and socially secure life!

But, I myself wonder:

Why am I this way?

Why can’t I fit myself in the mould?

What am I proving?

Who am I proving to?

How far will this go?

Who am I?

Letter to Life

 Dear dear life,

I swoon to your rife:

Teasing me with your coy,

Throwing at me my favourite toy,

Then, taking all away in a snap,  

Trapping me in your redundant crap,

Mocking my plait for four decades,

Challenging my grit with your charades;

I do not have reasons for all your riddles;

Yet, I don’t succumb to your hurdles;

Try your hard to drain me out of my goodness;

I have inner light to fight all your madness!

Poetic Soul

 A small-town girl trying her best

To find a significant place in this insignificant world;

As a speck rambled and confused,

Believing she makes a difference,

Fighting through the crisis of survival,

As every single one does to exist. 

She puts her pinkish purple goggles on,

Deliberately refuses to remove them,

Sees the world in the hues of wonder and beauty;

Though the pride of literature adds 

A dash of significance to her existence,

Her life events and reality keeps trying 

To haze her radiance and burry her in the dark,

Testing every ounce of her might… 

As John Keats’ phrase ‘suspension of willing disbelief’ 

Is her gridlock to life—

Indeed, she knows the destination,

(As everyone does)

But believes the journey takes to different destination,

Until she reaches there;

Of course, she is thoroughly aware:

Life is a mockery!

A Send-Off to 2025

 Dear 2025, 

With you, my 5-year plan of just breathing in and out ends,

Or You take that bare survival plan with you, please;

When I turned back and check,

2020 doesn't look that far at all;

I was forced to live through loss after loss; 

My friends pass on a snide comment: 

“You have nothing to lose anymore!”

Here I press that rewind button: 

2020 - WOW! What a year to the world! 

The entire planet's sense and sensibility was challenged:

Personally, I was hoping for just 10-day lock down, 

Which turned out to be a 10-month lock down;

My four pets passed away, 

Which forged a dreadful fear of losing my parents; 

Vacated the city and reached hometown,

Trusting everything will be going back to normal

By the last day of the year.

2021- Egregious demises unleashed! 

The year began with my father's heart attack;

Though he survived it with 3 stents fixed,

3 months later, he passed away in the second wave;

My mom was a beacon of hope and light;

She fought 5 decades of battles no one could imagine, 

But, she lost to the virus in the second wave;

Just on the fourth day of my father's demise.

To my surprise, I was born with bronchitis and rhinitis;

Still can't fathom, how I live through it all

Without even a hospitalisation!

I officially became 39-year-old orphan,

With no tangible asset to possess,

With no emotional or moral support to assess,

With only one pet to cry with;

So, left the hometown with bare necessities; 

To the same metro city I have been working.

2022 - What just happened?

Days and nights passed by 

Month on month passed by too...

Still not sure what just happened;

How I am still breathing!

However, friends sponsored a trip to Ganges; 

Indeed, I had a cold dip for a while there...

Sadly, returned to my home leaving 

Beautiful Ganges and lovely friends too...

Rest of the year, I cut off many people 

And shut myself to my home,

The only saving grace was my cat 

Who survived out of 7 of them…

Somehow, we were rescuing each other.

2023 - Clumsy routine of corporate! 

A year just passed without me noticing;

Not knowing how to move forward,

Focus shifted to the only survival option: Work!

Return to Office (RTO) has been established;

Choosing between WFH and Hybrid mode

Was a huge challenge —

After 2020, team members are not just pan India but pan world —

Visiting office for few hours to meet RTO,

Working at home to meet all geographical time zones,

Is the new norms with no standard working hours;

Still I haven’t figured out whether I WFH or WFO! 

When life threw us out of congruence,

Astonishingly, mundane madness becomes a saviour; 

I started bonding with new colleagues at office, 

Which made me look forward to meeting them…

On that note, the year ended!

2024 - Year of Butterflies and High of Love!

One of the office colleagues turned into a favourite friend; 

As he gave his shoulder to cry on,

My empty self took an advantage of it:

Without even processing my grief,

I fell for him head over heals:

My to-do list for the year was to make food for him,

And spend most of my time with him; 

Mostly, the year was all about him...

One year is a long time for butterflies to flutter;

By the end of the year, he left me without a clue. 

2025 - Dealing with abandonment and uncertainties

Panic attacks and wheezing for months continued...

Therapy sessions to regulate emotions 

That never calm down more than a day; 

When everything was out of control,

Job was the only thing never threatened me so far;

June 2025 - Boom! One secure thing that lasted for 2 decades

Is now agitated by the booming AI, 

And brutal lay offs of thousands and thousands started; 

Legit, I was quite convinced myself—

Without chasing for more, I will retire in the same company;

Now, everyday seems lucky because I still have the job!

Also, nothing went back to normal after 2020;

But in spite of all, I did achieve my 5-year plan! 

I am still breathing in and out—

This year does bring back the focus on me and only me.

Thank you and adios, 2025.

Status List

I am alright with

Varied thoughts,

Arid emotions,

Carried baggages,

Married to mundane,

Buried bridges,

Worried of tomorrows,

Tarried Life…

Silence of Secrets

Time whispers the secret of next moment;

But, the informed and knowledgeable reason 

Screams the humdrum chaos of mundane,

And mutes the whispers to be lost in silence;

The unknown conscious listens keenly, 

And alerts the mortal cells and tissues;

I marvel at the beauty and the irony of being.

As every minute unfolds a secret,

I function with the constant anxiety;

The more I hold the less I express:

Where the silence is thicker the void is wider;

Familiar friend turns into a stranger!

Drop the tiring act of secrets. 

As life unveils the unknown every moment,

I can’t handle both natural and man-made secrets.

Save Me from Being Janus!

Cowardice is my stature;

Safe play is my strategy:

Eloquent at why nots,

Frozen due to what ifs,

Finding adventurous solace

Through comfy pillows;

Always emotionally hyped, 

And rationally stuck as Hamlet…

Fancy and envy ‘Carpe Diem’,

Yet, care not to choose practicality;

Rebel the social norms at limited space,

But, institutionalised to them;

Being neither a spree nor a saint:

Muddled up with the menace of mundane,

Meditate on the madness of passion;

Always a cat on the wall

That never drops down the guard!

Autobiography of Three Dots

Fingers start tapping...
On the virtual letter board - tik-tik-tik
It’s not the clock ticking -
It’s just the fingers clicking...
You type and type and keep on typing
Yet I am the only one to be appeared...
I am aware:
 I am just a recess
Between your chats...
I usually buy time:
To refine your thoughts,
To suppress your immediate reactions,
To hide your real emotions,
To fix all your errors...
I make you shake your head,
And raise your eyebrows;
I keep you restless and curious...
I am the most conversed language
Among most of the soulmates...
When the worldly needs and deeds
Sadly break them up forever...
Many a time, I hold them together!
When every lettered word fakes it up,
I am the one always holds the truth...
I know everything but never reveal a word;
I am the best confidant of everyone of you...
Also I swallow many beautiful verses
And many more horrible curses...
Though I am vulnerable with numerous crosses
That strike off genuine utterances,
I am rustic and real...

Ode to a Friend

Dear dear friend,

Hope you landed safely in the foreign sand!

I always admire people who chase their dreams,

Without being scared of tearing their comfort seams...
You are one such precious person,
Who always work with real passion!

You are the only harmonious youth just out of college,

Whom I met in a corporate chaos with no knowledge;
There were many clumsy people driven by emotion,
And you are the only one reined by your reason;

Thank your parents for allowing you to paint:

The best version of the world with no taint,

For your non-judgemental and benign nature, 

And for letting you to mark your signature!

Now, you have to deal with all new stuff,

Dare not to step in the wild to dirty your cuff...
The philosophy of being in boundary doesn’t defend
As you keep saying - ‘I don’t have a close friend!’
Take chances knowing that you are vulnerable,
Playing safe at shore doesn’t always make you honourable;
Plunge into the water even if you hurt,
It gives you immense pleasure when you float;
Priorities keep changing as people keep on moving
Changing is never easy but constant just keep grooving
To the rhythm life casts at you
And I am here to always support and love you...

Friends From Stardust

I agree - you never asked for any of them;

I gave them all as a token of my gratitude!

You never know what have you given me:

You saved the dying part of me

That is so live and hopeful once,

You woke up those butterflies 

From almost 7 years of hibernation,

My purpose for life has been altered,
I got the drive to go on.
Without any concrete reason to quote,
You mean the world to me.
I give, give and give price-tagged materials
Not because I have in excess
But because I can’t express enough my gratitude
For the change you brought into my life
I know you don’t feel the same,
I understand you were there just for time-being,
Yet, nobody ever was there for me once in my lifetime
You showed me in such short span of time:
How it would be to live the life I dreamed!

I am aware:
I am too poor to achieve it,
I am physically incorrigible,
I am a boring person to converse,
I am old and pathetic,
I am clumsy and dramatic;
But, I never hide any of them
I am always true to myself and others...
Of all the human beings I know
I expect the least from you:
 Please don’t highlight any of them to me,
And just accept my gratitude gifts!
I understand you want to push me away,
So you hit hard on my soft spot.
Even you did indirectly - it hurts so much,
Neither I expressed how I feel about you,
Nor I ever cling on you tangibly...
Yet, you always advise me to be practical,
And to fit into the society I live in,
Which is impossible.
My inner self keeps drifting away from practicality.
I am sorry I can’t stake other’s life,
For my social and financial securities!

I can’t have control over my emotions either...
(I guess no one ever has!)
They get invested without my conscious choice,
They are super strong and rustic;
Once they organically grew fond of someone,
They can’t easily change their course.
My reasons keep them in tact in all seasons -
And make sure not to meddle with your course!
How can I be calm?
When you are physically and emotionally suffering?

I do keep myself away from you,
I don’t want to know your whereabouts,
I am being practical with you!
Though I wake up and go to bed with your thoughts,
I never ever tried to reach out to you;
Yet, the pain you are going through haunts me...
Too dramatic but true!
I always feel you next to me
Though we don’t talk for months together...
I believe we were stardust friends in the Universe
And are born in meat suits in different decades,
Who are not meant to meet each other
May be as a punishment...
Yet, we met!
I decided to take the punishment of the Universe:
I am literally running away from you;
With a hope to meet you again as stardust!

Silver Linings

The sky is always layered with dark clouds 

Rarely any ray comes out;

Though many nights they keep pouring,

The clouds are jam packed 

For years together...

A thin silver lining strikes through 

All the gloom fluffs started falling 

And a beautiful ray of sunshine

Peeps out with the joy

The sky grows brighter day by day

Where does the silver line come from?

Why does it strike so strong?

Know not the answers...
It was around for a short while
It has faded away now
But until it strikes:
The sky has never seen or heard
Any fighter jets flying through it
Now, whether it rains or shines
Fighter jets keep on roaring...
Every silver line leaves a fragment
That the sky would carry on forever!

First Flight

There were a few opportunities 

To fly for official reasons;

Yet, none turned to be fruitful,

As a nobler reason awaited!

Flying for the moments spent meaningful 

For the sheer joy of seeing loved ones

 Is the most cherished reason:

What else can better glorify the first flight!

Hyper excited to feel the symptoms of heart attack,

Thousand butterflies fluttered in the gut,

Seated in a window seat feeling quirky;

When the flight takes off,

All the butterflies burst out 

And flew around me in multiple colours -

More than the flying the reason makes it worth;

Indeed, my memorable memory treasures it!

Uncertain Tomorrows

Time to time self doubts engulf,

Failures keep on embracing,

Decisions are totally daring;

Owning the society’s misfit tag,

Never abide by the set rules;

Always stuck with poverty 

And uncertain tomorrows;

Emotionally exhausted - 

Dreams keep on dying

One by one day by day;

Yet they are the drive...

Deadlines of the time never tethered 

Hope and trust never withered

Fear of the future never bothered

Living organic and authentic 

Alone matters above all

Know not where does the ride take;

Yet dare not by the insecurities

Always sleep with a satisfaction!

The Moon

With glowing radiant, you smile at me

For a few days a month;

With that shimmering beauty,

You sweep me off;
My sky is completely dark,

Until you adorn on it;
Everyone looks at you,
But I always look up to you;
You never stop to amaze me,
I get lost in the maze of madness
Just by looking at you,
As I have no valid reason
Why I feel awestruck when I see you;
Maybe you hold shadows and traces of darkness within,
Neither many notice them, nor you reveal them,
Still, you feel full and complete!

With brimming beauty, you stare at me,
And you struck a chord in my heart:
I can hear the song you sing;
Never I can decipher the communication,
But I always feel connected...
Though scientifically the distance can be covered,
But literally, I can never ever reach you,
In a way, farther you are better I feel
But don't you dare move from my sky!
Month on month, you go on vacation
Those are the days
My heart weighs heavier...
Stay at the zenith
See me as one among the crore
But I always feel warmth when you show up
Thus, I am grateful to you!

Memorable Memories and Relentless Reality

The canopy of trees prolongs throughout the road,

As I walk through the lane of beautiful memories,

My eyes are filled with glee

My ears are filled with melodies 

The lips are wide-spread with a smile 

I am aware I am reliving the past!

Those were the days I lived the moments:

Neither the trace of past disturbed me,

Nor the fear of future hindered me;

A moment on moment gushed with no notion

With the coven of two witches and a wizard;

We used to cook up instant spells,

With the ingredients:

"Where to go? and What do we do?"

Impromptu plans and immediacy in action!

Days were gone,

The coven is broken, 

Magic is vanished - poof! 

I am sitting alone in the office bus,

Peeping through the window

The sun is up with the bright smile

He might have bathed

In the rain of pathos as well;

Somehow we connect...

He is all alone shining through the day

Needs none to light him up 

So self-made and self-aware 

Somedays he goes behind the clouds

And cries his eyes out 

Most of the days he is fine 

Living up to his might!

A roaring noise brings me back to now,

As a fighter jet tears the blue;

Here opens the door to mundane reality!

Turtle's Pace is Wise

Indeed, timelessness is my strategy

Never ever have the sense of a time limit

Pacing at my heart's content

Is my style of living!

The world around me panics

And runs in the race

Batch by batch runs passing me

I never ever even tried reaching the track,

Nothing ever rushes me yet

Is it wrong to be stuck looking up the sky?

Or Is it wrong to talk to a tree?

Or is it wrong to be stuck thinking about nothing?

Or is it wrong to plan a trip every day to nowhere?

But I have been enjoying them...

Never regretting the single moment passed away,

Maybe one or two stupid deeds of mine were wrong

But what is the right way?

Is there a rule book to live a life?

Are the social norms and terms right?

Harm not any living being,

Appreciate every odd that exists on this planet,

Give away as much as you can,

Regret not for any act of love,

Are the rules I follow to live!

Instinct is my compass

Emotions and senses guide through

The unknown path I walk

All I care about is today

Believing that's all I have with me…

Let the world work on deadlines and targets,

My little world always has shine and rain in store

To keep me awestruck beyond the timeline!

 

Humdrum Trap of a Hummingbird

A hummingbird journeyed from a farther land,

In search of food for passion,

With strong worldly reasons,

Exploring through the newness,

Humming gracefully amidst the various bands of birds,

Being naive and bold

With his vital and valour natural attributes,

With starry shine, he stands out

From the mad flocks of fun!

A huge storm hit the strings

Of the rope of his hope...

He held to one tiny string

And tried to weave all the strings in place,

Though tiny daring wisdom he showed,

In handling the downfall...

A day came to challenge his emotional stance;

The whirlwind of monotony swirled him away,

From his track and pack,

Know not the way out he fumbles now...

The rarest of rare found the way out,

Hope can't be given up on him either,

As he is the rarest and purest of his kind,

May he get back his grip to the rope,

Reach out to the destiny he dreams,

As his will is mightier than his wings

To soar above all!

Peace and Humility

Thinking engulfs 

With no conclusion 

Decisions are far from reach 

The living is so tiresome 

Ego is hurt

Fire is washed 

Years passed 

 Tears dried 

Emotions are tedious 

Know not the way out...

A friend questioned:

"What are you strong at?"

I answered:

Enjoying the nature,

Dreaming, 

Loving animals, 

Loving art, 

Cherishing beauty, 

Reading Shakespeare, 

Thinking on and on...

The buddy said:

"All seem so useless to me"

I said:

"The more useless the more valuable

A piece of art becomes!"

He said:

"Where on earth you get that idea?

Why and how do you even think in such term?

Why can't you live in the reality? 

Why are you running away from that?

Why are you hiding in your crazy philosophical unrealistic world?"

I said:

Helplessness...

Fear of failure!

Reality hurts a lot!

Contemplations:

Acquired skillsets of l1 years:

English, Typing, Ms-Office, Blogging, 

E-mail writing, Communication,

Building rapport, Training people, 

All seem null! 

Those are all survival needs...

They don't seem meaningful to even quote!

Being surreal means a lot, 

More than being real! 

Though, in the end, worldly survival matters the most...

Why take so much emotional fighting!

Do, earn and forget.

Care very less about what you do:

Corporate teachings! 

Spend worthier time away...

Peace and humility overwhelm...

Letting things go away!

Separation

Emotions are hard to decipher

Plunge into unpredictable connections

With immeasurable depth

Daring not about tomorrow

As soon as it dawns:

The connection is momentary 

A pang of anger and frustration...

Measures and calculates 

The vain moments invested!

The truth is:

Beyond momentary expectations, 

Beautiful joy is hidden,

In the cliche - Love him or her for what he or she is!

Indeed, anger, possessiveness and expectations 

Are inescapable passage to pass through!

Either cross the passage faster, 

Or end the connection stuck in the passage...

But people are beautiful 

Deserve something more than measurable,

Limit not in the tangibility of time and space,

Dare not to give without calculations 

Not everyone on earth touches,

Very few souls connect...

Very few souls are intimidating 

Very few souls are authentic 

Very few souls provide cherishable memories...

Spend the time with no regret

Treasure the memories of those rare souls!

Physical separation is inevitable...

Days pass on 

People fly away

In the end, moments and momentariness only matter!