Lost Charm of Balloons!

Riding the bike with extra focus,

Amidst crowded cars and bikes 

On the hustling and bustling Bangalore road;

We are all immersed in the madness of mundane runs;

Indeed, the same by-hearted humdrum route;

With known rising and falling speed of potholes and puddles,

With gifted canopies of lustrous trees,

With serenity of green and bright-coloured blossoms;

But, no time to cherish the beauty of seasons changing through the same trees;

Sometimes, jealousy engulfs just seeing nature's relentless job:

With no profit, no validation, or any recognition;

Yet, mind is preoccupied with meaningless and pointless worries, 

Of the lost and past,

And loses its sight of beauty and joy of presence;

At an intersection tightness of traffic light,

Amidst numerous red lights of fancy cars and bikes,

A scooter laden with balloons bigger than a car; 

As the lighter and fuller flowing balloons called for attention,  

Wave of honks and  noises increasingly tried to make him disappear:

A bunch of pink elephant balloons mock at the horns and honks;

Fuller blue and red balloons were soaring upward with no distraction;

The traffic light went green and the drama of balloons was lost;

Back into nonstop cars, buses, trucks and bikes,

With unknown artificial urgency,

Rushing to home for the peace and stillness…

Hand-in-Hand, Alone

With you, I dreamt alone,

But as a perfect couple;

Now, we are permanently torn…

Yet, my dreams were too supple—

Hand-in-hand you and me:

When the sky turns purple,

Just sipping our evening tea,

In silence with no crinkle;

It's neither the spike of lust,

Nor the gamble of trust;

We merely exist in the comfort

Of each other's presence with no effort

As time passes,

And the familiarity eases,

Each argument brings us closer,

Respect makes no one a loser;

It's easier to tolerate monotony,

With your stupid company…

I can be shamelessly stupid,

As you don't judge me for being timid…

My phone rings and I am sitting alone

With the reality of no one

You showed me the glimpse of my dream

Two years back and left me with silent scream

Indeed, now, you and I are just strangers,

Who just crossed paths as loss exchangers;

It's hard for me to ignore

The existence of your lore

Hope to let go of my dreams

One day I will heal and run along the stream…

Suicides by Social Norms

 Hearsay has murdered for eras

Without the notice of tiaras

Countless fossils of mortals

Still continue the invisible throttles

Everlasting dictatorship in disguise

Advancing AI can’t even realise

Civilised civilisations name

Politely as ‘social norm’

Generation after generation

From the day of civilisation

Failed to remove the social scaffold

Most keep climbing with a blindfold,

Without knowing what for and how far,

Fear of mocking climbers on a par;

Convenient systemic cruelty of generalisation

Thrashed numerous visions in trivialisation;

Why can’t Einstein still make sense?

Baseless fear-mongers create a tension

That burns the hope and vision,

Of numerous fishes’ dream of ocean

Compared to the climbing monkeys,

Abused for being born as donkeys!

Naive souls drive over the edge,

With no one to dredge…

Two Birds Sing out of Chorus

The couple of losses wounded your innocent bird;

You never waited for it to heal;

You forcefully shoo the bird away from you;

So that you need not feel the pangs of pain;

You empty the room from flapping animated innocence,

And filled it with fancy bottles of wine and random chalices…

Your life fits comfortably in the hollow.

You and I shouldn’t have crossed our paths;

But, we did at the oddest of time!

Of course, neither the time favours me ever, nor do I ever bow to it;

Because, I let my innocent bird live wild and free in me;

Indeed, I had more losses than one could ever have normally;

Yet, I didn’t learn to tame or contain my bird;

I can never be cruel enough to send the wounded bird away.

When we met, you just didn’t believe;

So, you just befriended me to test if the wildness was real;

Then, you witnessed me as a fictional character out of a book;

As your emptied room echoed loud,

You knocked off all my walls and reached out to my bird;

The more you spent time with my bird, the more you learned its pros and cons,

And your empty walls bellowed deeper to bring back your bird home;

You got scared of the wounded bird coming back;

It was easier for you to shut your doors at me;

Indeed, I am alright!

But, you never should have tried to be in touch with my innocent bird…

I still don’t know how to console or contain her from your absence;

I still try to help my little innocent bird to heal and flap her wings and chirp again…

My bird still sings to your bird that roams in the farther land with no home to return…

As your bird lost its voice to the unknown, he never sings back at all…

Who am I!

Some address me as an epitome of arrogance;

Some criticise me as a loser;

My own mom called me a fiasco;

Many school and college mates just saw me as a misfit;

Some friends name me a simple and humble soul;

A friend keeps saying, “you are too poetic to live with”;

Another friend keeps saying, “you are too idealist to live in reality”;

Two men I fell in love with said and left, “you are too pure to meddle with”;

My relatives pity me as a misfortunate:

As I rejected many grooms,

Who offered financially and socially secure life!

But, I myself wonder:

Why am I this way?

Why can’t I fit myself in the mould?

What am I proving?

Who am I proving to?

How far will this go?

Who am I?

Letters to No One

 Dearest Mr. Silent Distance,

And Constant Resistance,

How have you been without my presence?

Hope you keep up with your essence:

‘Out of sight, out of mind’!

Indeed, you don’t have to mind—

The existence of a real friend in a fake city;

You have taken yourself far and more;

I just see time passes by me to wear and tear;

I do rationalise that the blame is on me: 

Neither can I compartmentalise ‘you and me’, 

Nor can I flip the switch to erase and move…

I am alright without trying to woo;

Of course, you didn’t have any feeling,

So there is no need for healing;

To me, it has always been one-sided dealing,

I keep fighting alone through this feeling for healing…

On me, neither time nor distance has its effect;

As everyone rightly points out, it’s only my defect;

You are winning trophies for your mastery in running;

Whereas, I am losing myself in pining;

My mind gaslights my stupid heart to trust as it was just my dream;

Your mind knows to be smart to shut your heart’s scream…

Partying World

Nay! I am neither worried about the wasted lives in the war,

Nor do I care that a dull-witted president’s pride and greed can’t be restrained by the whole world!

What’s that forum called? The UN, isn’t it?

By the way, I am not as deeply concerned as the UN is.

Indeed, the world has been partying with

the traces and losses of COVID-19;

And the financial celebrations of AI intervention in every sector;

There was a DJ missing and, of course, here come missiles to add music to the partying world!

I couldn’t participate in the party as I couldn’t cook or eat my food;

The only thing that stops me from having fun is the 10-day wait for a cylinder!

Letter to Life

 Dear dear life,

I swoon to your rife:

Teasing me with your coy,

Throwing at me my favourite toy,

Then, taking all away in a snap,  

Trapping me in your redundant crap,

Mocking my plait for four decades,

Challenging my grit with your charades;

I do not have reasons for all your riddles;

Yet, I don’t succumb to your hurdles;

Try your hard to drain me out of my goodness;

I have inner light to fight all your madness!

The 3 AM Soprano

The luteal phase is here:

Emotions are singing in soprano;

Sleep is just dancing to the vibe;

Time and distance never make sense;

It’s only just month after month.

Reasons try to rein the emotions:

To see and talk to the ones I want is impossible!

Yet, "the heart wants what it wants."

If my tears could bring them all back,

Generations of loved ones from centuries ago

Would have come back to life by now;

Yet, tears can’t move one living heart to say "Hi."

I must be a faded memory to them…

My reasons and actions to let them go

Don’t have the tiniest effect on my emotions.

I wish my tears could wash away the memories at least;

But they just run uselessly down my cheeks,

Wishing and praying for the shut hearts to open.

Poetic Soul

 A small-town girl trying her best

To find a significant place in this insignificant world;

As a speck rambled and confused,

Believing she makes a difference,

Fighting through the crisis of survival,

As every single one does to exist. 

She puts her pinkish purple goggles on,

Deliberately refuses to remove them,

Sees the world in the hues of wonder and beauty;

Though the pride of literature adds 

A dash of significance to her existence,

Her life events and reality keeps trying 

To haze her radiance and burry her in the dark,

Testing every ounce of her might… 

As John Keats’ phrase ‘suspension of willing disbelief’ 

Is her gridlock to life—

Indeed, she knows the destination,

(As everyone does)

But believes the journey takes to different destination,

Until she reaches there;

Of course, she is thoroughly aware:

Life is a mockery!

A Send-Off to 2025

 Dear 2025, 

With you, my 5-year plan of just breathing in and out ends,

Or You take that bare survival plan with you, please;

When I turned back and check,

2020 doesn't look that far at all;

I was forced to live through loss after loss; 

My friends pass on a snide comment: 

“You have nothing to lose anymore!”

Here I press that rewind button: 

2020 - WOW! What a year to the world! 

The entire planet's sense and sensibility was challenged:

Personally, I was hoping for just 10-day lock down, 

Which turned out to be a 10-month lock down;

My four pets passed away, 

Which forged a dreadful fear of losing my parents; 

Vacated the city and reached hometown,

Trusting everything will be going back to normal

By the last day of the year.

2021- Egregious demises unleashed! 

The year began with my father's heart attack;

Though he survived it with 3 stents fixed,

3 months later, he passed away in the second wave;

My mom was a beacon of hope and light;

She fought 5 decades of battles no one could imagine, 

But, she lost to the virus in the second wave;

Just on the fourth day of my father's demise.

To my surprise, I was born with bronchitis and rhinitis;

Still can't fathom, how I live through it all

Without even a hospitalisation!

I officially became 39-year-old orphan,

With no tangible asset to possess,

With no emotional or moral support to assess,

With only one pet to cry with;

So, left the hometown with bare necessities; 

To the same metro city I have been working.

2022 - What just happened?

Days and nights passed by 

Month on month passed by too...

Still not sure what just happened;

How I am still breathing!

However, friends sponsored a trip to Ganges; 

Indeed, I had a cold dip for a while there...

Sadly, returned to my home leaving 

Beautiful Ganges and lovely friends too...

Rest of the year, I cut off many people 

And shut myself to my home,

The only saving grace was my cat 

Who survived out of 7 of them…

Somehow, we were rescuing each other.

2023 - Clumsy routine of corporate! 

A year just passed without me noticing;

Not knowing how to move forward,

Focus shifted to the only survival option: Work!

Return to Office (RTO) has been established;

Choosing between WFH and Hybrid mode

Was a huge challenge —

After 2020, team members are not just pan India but pan world —

Visiting office for few hours to meet RTO,

Working at home to meet all geographical time zones,

Is the new norms with no standard working hours;

Still I haven’t figured out whether I WFH or WFO! 

When life threw us out of congruence,

Astonishingly, mundane madness becomes a saviour; 

I started bonding with new colleagues at office, 

Which made me look forward to meeting them…

On that note, the year ended!

2024 - Year of Butterflies and High of Love!

One of the office colleagues turned into a favourite friend; 

As he gave his shoulder to cry on,

My empty self took an advantage of it:

Without even processing my grief,

I fell for him head over heals:

My to-do list for the year was to make food for him,

And spend most of my time with him; 

Mostly, the year was all about him...

One year is a long time for butterflies to flutter;

By the end of the year, he left me without a clue. 

2025 - Dealing with abandonment and uncertainties

Panic attacks and wheezing for months continued...

Therapy sessions to regulate emotions 

That never calm down more than a day; 

When everything was out of control,

Job was the only thing never threatened me so far;

June 2025 - Boom! One secure thing that lasted for 2 decades

Is now agitated by the booming AI, 

And brutal lay offs of thousands and thousands started; 

Legit, I was quite convinced myself—

Without chasing for more, I will retire in the same company;

Now, everyday seems lucky because I still have the job!

Also, nothing went back to normal after 2020;

But in spite of all, I did achieve my 5-year plan! 

I am still breathing in and out—

This year does bring back the focus on me and only me.

Thank you and adios, 2025.

Status List

I am alright with

Varied thoughts,

Arid emotions,

Carried baggages,

Married to mundane,

Buried bridges,

Worried of tomorrows,

Tarried Life…

நானே எனக்கு போதும்

கண்கள் கொள்ளா கொள்ளைக் கொள்ளையாய்

கொட்டிவைத்த கனவுகள் 

காலம் கரைந்து ஓடியபின்னும்... 

கனவுகள் மட்டும் கரையவில்லையே 

காதலித்து களைத்து போன பின்னும் 

காதலின் மீது மட்டும் களைப்பு வரவில்லை

அன்பின் ஆற்றலின்றி நிகழ்காலத்தின் 

நிர்பந்தத்தில் சிக்கி சிதைந்துக் கொண்டிருக்கிறேன்...

மனதோரத்தில் ஏக்கம்:

சட்டென பட்ட மரம் துளிர்க்காதோ 

இம்முறையேனும் மாற்றம் மலராதோ 

உறவுகள் அறிவுரைத்த போதும்  

சரியென்று சலிப்பு வரவில்லை என் மேல் எனக்கு!

Lingering Questions from Frankenstein (2025)

Aren't we all prey to Victors' greed and pride?

Didn't generations of Victors set the pattern 

Of unending loop of merciless survival?

How are we taking pride in procreation

Without the accountability to protect the innocence?

Why do we need to run behind the herd 

In the fear of failing and dying?

Who created this mass measuring social yardstick? 

Who told us that we are higher in hierarchy?

Didn't the sky shine and rain for every living organisms?

Did we take consent from the planet to use their resources?

Aren't we abusing those resources beyond our needs?

Did I ask to be born in this world?

Or did I sign up for this mortal agony?

Do I have a choice not to participate in this social mockery?

Silence of Secrets

Time whispers the secret of next moment;

But, the informed and knowledgeable reason 

Screams the humdrum chaos of mundane,

And mutes the whispers to be lost in silence;

The unknown conscious listens keenly, 

And alerts the mortal cells and tissues;

I marvel at the beauty and the irony of being.

As every minute unfolds a secret,

I function with the constant anxiety;

The more I hold the less I express:

Where the silence is thicker the void is wider;

Familiar friend turns into a stranger!

Drop the tiring act of secrets. 

As life unveils the unknown every moment,

I can’t handle both natural and man-made secrets.

Waning Mighty Love for Mangoes

When it comes to love for mangoes

My head to toe tangoes 

Stereotypically I am a loud and proud Indian,

While raving about  mango varieties without a median; 

Mangoes can engage all my senses,

So shamelessly I surrender without any defences;

Even when I was mourning my losses,

The peak of mango season was the one that eases;

No wonder! I was born in the middle of the mango season,

For a reason, or so exaggerates my poet’s mind with passion!

The stupidest of all my stupidity

Is sharing my love for mangoes with a friend of serendipity;

As he has travelled far chasing his dreams,

My days have become insipid routines of silent screams;

Never in my wildest dreams, I fathom,

My love for mangoes would lose its anthem;

This whole season is slipping through my fingers;

As I walk through aisles of mangoes, his thought lingers…