Muted Kiss in Screaming Traumas

Oh my first kiss,

You are my holy wish,

As I put you on a pedestal

For too long, you turned pastel;

You used to be lively and vibrant,

When I was dull and silent,

You nurtured me with a preserved solace

And kept me from being reckless;

Though you are merely a deep-rooted fantasy,

And a made-up baseless fallacy,

Perfectly formed at my early teen,

Through the virtual 'Pretty Woman' scene.

Until late twenties, I smiled at you from far,

As I was scrutinised to meet the social status bar;

Though too late, love happened at its schedule;

To touch you, I wrote in my dream a manual;

Indeed, too big of a dream it was!

Love proved me wrong and left me with no sauce;

I thought you never meant to be real

And sealed you with an untouchable veil;

I numbed myself in the chaos of jarring reality

With the madness of mundane cruelty;

I just sighed deep and breathed out the suffocation

A decade went without a trace on vacation…

In my mid thirties, relocation to new city

Put me in a peer pressure of self pity;

Courageously, I unveiled you to dismantle

The pedestal against your will as you dandle;

Of course, you won and pulled me away,

From sabotaging my empath in a sway;

I said goodbye to the temptation with a poetic handshake;

I tightened the screws and smiled at your sweepstake!

Indeed, life kept me busy with a financial fight;

And family conflicts and medical bills kept me in a fright;

All fight and fright just stopped with a huge loss;

Purposelessness crept in with punishing claws…

Of course, four decades passed in a sweep;

You are still a shining star with no trace of sleep;

Now, noises of responsibilities rest in peace;

But, how did four decades passed just in a wheeze?

Integrity of honour and humanity decides my choice;

Never let dark temptations raise their voice;

The question what is left to lose pushes,

And I bravely ask a man for you without blushes;

I dared to touch you for a petty reason;

Indeed, you aren’t ready to settle for lesser passion.

Dearest first kiss, you are still a virgin,

Muted inside my screaming traumas as I imagine…

Happy Birthday Amigo!

You are just made of the stardust 

That made the universe in a burst;

Days and nights flip the time’s page,

Yet, the Sun and the Moon never age;

Years might pass by just in a flow,

But you grow old only to glow.

You guard your core with the rocky shore;

Yet, four-legged furry friends know your mushy core,

And a tender vine can feel the warmth in your breeze.

Your head holds Peepal Tree’s wisdom at ease;

Still, your heart goofs up like a stupid youth.

You keep it subtle - even the hardest truth.

You are the beautiful blue ocean 

That is accustomed to storms in all season;

Yet, you stay calm as the eye of a storm.

Your aura of peace keeps your friends warm,

Though you rarely hang out with human friends;

You hardly break a thing to fix mends,

As you are a gentleman who is always in trend

The list of admirations can go without an end

To be honest, you are the Himalayan crest

No wonder! You keep looking at it with zest

Here I sum up the least of you at my best!

A wish comes your way as a waft of zephyr

To sing your praise without strings of a lyre.

May you live beyond the limited man year

To bring smiles and to cheer

All the souls that love you! 

That’s all my happy birthday note to you!

Save Me from Being Janus!

Cowardice is my stature;

Safe play is my strategy:

Eloquent at why nots,

Frozen due to what ifs,

Finding adventurous solace

Through comfy pillows;

Always emotionally hyped, 

And rationally stuck as Hamlet…

Fancy and envy ‘Carpe Diem’,

Yet, care not to choose practicality;

Rebel the social norms at limited space,

But, institutionalised to them;

Being neither a spree nor a saint:

Muddled up with the menace of mundane,

Meditate on the madness of passion;

Always a cat on the wall

That never drops down the guard!

காதலிக்க காலமில்லை

கணினி மாயையில் கண் இமைக்க கனமில்லாமல் காணாமல் போனேன் 

கானகத்தில் காதல் செய்ய ஆவல் ஆயிரம் 

கண் அசைவின் அழகில் ஆழ்ந்திட ஆசை 

நா அசைவில் நெகிழ்ந்திட ஆசை 

சிகை முதல் கால் விறல் நகை வரை 

நிகழும் நிதர்ஷனத்தில் நிமிடங்கள் மறந்திட ஆசை 

கடமையின் காலில் அடிமையாய் 

நேரமின்றி நலிந்துதான் போனேன்

நகைச்சுவையும் அருசுவையும் கூட 

அரைமனத்தில் அவசரமாய் அனுபவிக்கும் எனக்கு 

அறிவிழந்து ஆத்மார்த்தமாய் அழகில்

திளைத்திட துணிச்சல் இல்லை 

கடமைக்காய் காதலித்து சமூகத்தை சாடி 

சலித்து போகும் சாமானியனும் இல்லை நான் 

கலைத்து போகாமல் காதல் கவி பாடும் 

கவிஞனாய் போனேன் காலத்தின் கட்டாயத்தில் 

கடமையில் மடமையாய் மதி மயங்க 

காதலிக்க காலமில்லாத கண்ணியவானை கலைந்திடுவேன்!

மழை!

திகைக்க திகைக்க கொட்டினாலும் 

திகட்டாத இன்பம் நீ! 

நான் தவிக்க தவிக்கத் தேடினேன் 

என் தேடல் தீர தினமும் திசையெங்கும்

ஆர்பாட்டத்துடன் ஆட்டம்போட்டாய் 

ஓர் இரு துளிகள் போதும் என்ற என்னிடம் 

ஓர் இரு வாரமாய் வலிக்காமல் 

வாரித் தருகிறாய் வள்ளலாய் 

மூச்சு முட்ட முழங்குகிறாய் ஆனந்த மேளம் 

என்னாவது ஏழை என் மனம் 

சற்றே தவிக்கவிட்டு தா போதும் 

நிஜமான நிதர்ஷணம் நினைவில் இல்லை 

சில நாட்கள் நீடிக்கும் உன் கனா 

வினாவின்றி வழிமொழிகிறேன் 

உன் வெள்ளாற்றில்...

Parenting is a Scary Ride

I have twin girls: 

Both are young and beautiful,

But characteristically poles apart; 

I gave them the same food: 

Yet, one girl eats a lot,

Plays a lot and be adventurous,

Jumps before she thinks;

The other one is elegant,

Picky in eating,
Self-managed, self-disciplined,

Playful yet cautious;

One always ends up in trouble: 

The other day she went out

And fell down and broke her teeth 

She came back home

With no noise and kept silent
And back on her feet in a couple of days.
The other one is scared to leave the home;
She never goes out without me,
She wants me always around her,
She looks up to me
And believes I am her everything...

I never restrict any of them:

For trying out new food,

Or exploring their surroundings,

Or making new friends;

I don’t like to teach them life lessons -

I believe, life has an exclusive way of teaching 

Every individual with a unique lesson.

In fact, I am comfortable with the one,

Who never listens or bothers to be safe,

Who explores, falls and gets bruised,

Who also learns to get back and be normal!

But I am scared of the one
Who obeys ardently and stays next to me,
Who watches me with wide-open eyes of wonder,
When I walk or talk or work or even break:
That makes me so uncomfortable:
What if I can’t give answers
To all her questions?!?
What if I fail to live up to her expectation?!?

I rank as a careless and irresponsible mom

In the social yardstick of parenting...

Indeed, parenting is never a cakewalk;
I  learn so many things,
I watch numerous parenting techniques,
Yet I often fail to apply them practically
Parenting is not a skill or technique,
Can be trained or learned;
It is an art:
Spontaneous, arbitrary, unique and creative!
I am still bound to a few cliche patterns...
Inbuilt inside me unconsciously and habitually;
Creativity sometimes works,
But every time it scares the hell out of me...

I neither teach them religion nor introduce the idea of God:
As I still have not figured them out myself.
I teach them to enjoy the weather both shine and rain,
Teach them not to harm other living beings,
And enjoy everything they do;
Yet, it takes so much to keep them away from:
My possessiveness, insecurities, and helplessness!
I am scared of society -
When they spread their wings in the air
They must enjoy the ride,
Rather than measuring their wings with fellow birds...

Autobiography of Three Dots

Fingers start tapping...
On the virtual letter board - tik-tik-tik
It’s not the clock ticking -
It’s just the fingers clicking...
You type and type and keep on typing
Yet I am the only one to be appeared...
I am aware:
 I am just a recess
Between your chats...
I usually buy time:
To refine your thoughts,
To suppress your immediate reactions,
To hide your real emotions,
To fix all your errors...
I make you shake your head,
And raise your eyebrows;
I keep you restless and curious...
I am the most conversed language
Among most of the soulmates...
When the worldly needs and deeds
Sadly break them up forever...
Many a time, I hold them together!
When every lettered word fakes it up,
I am the one always holds the truth...
I know everything but never reveal a word;
I am the best confidant of everyone of you...
Also I swallow many beautiful verses
And many more horrible curses...
Though I am vulnerable with numerous crosses
That strike off genuine utterances,
I am rustic and real...